Trego's Mountain Ear

As I read of Ted Kaczynski’s death, my thoughts went back to the many journalists who called me after his arrest.  It’s not like Ted had a personal grudge against me (though it turned out I did have friends on his Christmas card list).  My screwed up day was basically collateral damage – Ted got busted in Lincoln, Montana.  I was a County Extension Agent in Lincoln County, Montana – and there were a hell of a lot of journalists who didn’t know that the town of Lincoln is in Lewis & Clark County.  It’s amazing how many journalists let their fingers do the walking for them on the telephone while never considering looking at a map.

I didn’t have anything particularly important planned for those two days in April, 1996 – which was just as well, because telephone calls flooded the county answering machine – and the first phone connection the journalists could get was “Agricultural Extension Agent.”  Yeah, the automated directory was alphabetical, and I was first on the list.  I spent a couple of days talking with folks from ABC, BBC, CBC . . . ad infitum – each wanting information about Ted.  Each got the same answer: “I wouldn’t recognize him if he walked into my office and bit me on the leg.  You do know that it’s a five-hour drive to get from Libby to Lincoln?  No?  You do know that Montana is the fourth largest state? No?  Then I guess you don’t know that Lincoln is in Lewis & Clark County?  Somebody in Helena might be able to help you but I surely can’t.”  By the time the journalists were done calling, I had it down pat – and a quarter century later, the repeated responses are still solid in my memory.

I shared the story with the County Agent in Lewis & Clark – accidentally setting him up, since he actually had met Kaczynski.  When the FBI called Larry to investigate his interactions with Kacynski, he thought that it must be another agent pranking him, so he responded with a grossly exaggerated description of Ted . . . eventually hearing “Young man, you may believe you are quite a wit, but I really am with the FBI, and you’re not going to enjoy the experience if you don’t straighten out right now.”

I guess Larry thought it was me pranking him – his last phrase was “He didn’t sound a bit like you.”

Rest in peace, Ted.  One’s mind is a terrible thing to lose.